Learn to Trust

Posted on by Janina Glass

Why bother?

Being mistrustful protects you, right? It’s designed to keep us safe from harm. But relationship anxiety also keeps you safe from love. Protects you from fully living life, from being vulnerable.

Look, I don’t want you to tell yourself, “Nothing bad is going to happen to me, everything is fine!” It’s actually better if you accept that bad things probably will happen to you sometimes. Better to believe that you’ll recover from it and grow.

Anxiety lies. It tells you that it’s keeping you safe, but your anxiety is really there creating its own job security. Things you avoid due to anxiety only grow in magnitude, the more you avoid them.

I think everyone could use a regular dose of getting outside of their comfort zone. (Comfort vs growth?) Now THAT’S good for your mental health.

Avoiding everything that’s uncomfortable and everything that’s awkward? That boxes you in. A lot. Seek empowerment over your fear. Not acceptance of something you’re fearful of, just confidence that if absolutely necessary, you could face it and not die.

A qualified professional can help you determine whether you’re dealing with typical anxieties or a debilitating phobia. If so… Seek treatment!

It’s not like, “No thanks, I don’t like shrimp or cabbage, so I prefer not to order things with that in it.” That’s not a phobia, that’s a preference. If you’re asking for menu ingredients at every restaurant to make sure there’s no shrimp or cabbage, and you’re suspicious even when you did communicate with the staff, then you might have a problem. If that problem is a food allergy, then it’s a rational response to be on the alert!

By the way, those with severe food allergies, my heart goes out to you! I know from experience that dealing with high levels of physical trauma (i.e., anaphylaxis) can also cause echoes of emotional trauma. It’s hard. You’re doing a good job.

Even in the case of allergies, exposure therapy is the only cure… Think about it! It is rooted in biological fact. šŸ¤” We need to be exposed (in carefully managed doses) to some things that we seek to avoid. Isn’t that an interesting parallel.

Is Your “Self Care” Actually a Form of Avoidance in Disguise?

Posted on by Janina Glass

Parents need to take care of themselves in order to be ready to tackle the next challenge that comes along – which is constantly. How do we even begin to get a moment to ourselves? Most commonly it’s through stolen moments of screen-scrolling, and that is shown to actually drain our capacities, not increase them (Mostafavi, 2016).

Often our smartphone use is really a form of avoidance, and in the long run, avoidance is so stressful. I noticed that for me, the cycle becomes doing what I can get away with in the moment – because I finally have a moment – and my life is so hard that I deserve a moment for myself to do what I want! That’s okay, but it’s important to be mindful about the choices we’re making about how to these moments. If we choose something that just makes time pass, they cause zip toward the next hard thing, especially if I have been using electronics to avoid the hard things for most of the day.

Woman pauses laundry on sofa, distracted by her phone.
Photo by Karolina Grabowska on Pexels.com

I read an inspirational quote today. It said “Self-care isn’t about hot chocolate and bubble baths, it’s about having a life you don’t feel like you need to escape from” (Siddique, 2020).

Make life easier by facing the tough stuff!

Productivity and purpose make people happier. But how do we do it? One paradox of productivity is that we must be willing to have some things NOT get done in order to have the most essential things get done. If you’re disorganized, chances are you sometimes feel like prioritizing feels irresponsible. It is about choosing which things you will NOT do. It’s somehow satisfying to get to the end of your day and say, “At least I tried to do it all. Nobody could say I didn’t try!” …. But we have no business trying to do it all! Our business is to figure out only a couple things and learn to own the fact that the things which didn’t get done were ignored intentionally because you didn’t make a conscious effort to focus on them.

But don’t stick to ONLY tough stuff!

Here’s a pro tip: let’s not go too black and white on our thinking here. Don’t plan to only focus on the boring, horrible things or you will give up planning as a lifestyle and go back to being a victim of circumstance! This is where self-care comes in. Can we be real about what we can fit into a day? Can we be sure we have at least one item on our calendar (or option list) that brings a lot of personal satisfaction? It might be organizing one corner of your desk, or chatting on the phone with a friend, or maybe turning on some music and dancing like a fool. My sister feels she has received self-care when she’s had time to do her makeup and look her best. What minor upgrade are you craving today? Let it be something that leaves you feeling better than when you started. That way you’ll have MORE juice for giving to those kiddos, not less.

Mom and daughter ice a bundt cake.
Photo by Any Lane on Pexels.com

We can really find freedom from needing to find freedom by doing the work it takes to create the life that we truly want.

Mostafavi, B., (2016). Plugged in parenting: How parental smartphone use may affect kids. University of Michigan. https://www.michiganmedicine.org/health-lab/plugged-parenting-how-parental-smartphone-use-may-affect-kids

Siddique, H. (2020). Self-care is often a very unbeautiful thing. Embolden Psychology. https://embolden.world/self-care-is-often-a-very-unbeautiful-thing/#:~:text=True%20self%2Dcare%20is%20not,the%20eye%20and%20re%2Dstrategizing.

Is This Blog for Me? (I Don’t Have ADHD…)

Posted on by Janina Glass

A person with ADHD is, first and foremost, a person. If you are also a person, you might enjoy the content of this blog. šŸ˜‰

This is particularlyĀ true if you have ever experienced any of the following “symptoms”:

  • You have procrastinated
  • You’ve gotten distracted
  • You’ve been forgetful
  • You’ve struggled to get organized
  • You’ve struggled to prioritize
  • You’ve felt overwhelmed or “scattered”
  • You’ve been disappointed in how little you accomplished

Also if you:

  • Care about someone with ADHD and want to understand how to better relate to or assist them (good for you!)
  • Have imagination and can apply wisdom from someone else’s life to your own life, even though you don’t have exactly the same life! šŸ˜€

What if I don’t even believe ADHD is real?

  • That’s nothing we needĀ to quarrel about. Consider any mention of ADHD to be shorthand for regular people who struggle sometimes with executive functioning skills (see list ofĀ “symptoms”, above). I believe the struggle is more or less universal, especially now that we have devices thatĀ can soothe and distract us at any time of day or night.
  • I don’t plan to promote any specific dietary or pharmaceutical intervention, or even natural remedies. I will leave that part of the discussion to the professionals.
  • I do encourage people to do some things for their general well being (such as regular sleep, exercise, developing confidence, nurturing healthy relationships, etc.)
I’ve lived it! I’ve been gradually learning how to turn my ADHD from a liability to an asset.

So, if you are someone who has a general fascination with the human brain and behavior and would enjoy reading a unique perspective on the subject, or better yet if you want real-life strategies to apply what you’ve learned, then WELCOME! This blog is for you

My aim is to share habits, strategies and coping skills that can help shape positive mindset and behavior. I feel that focus on these areas is a necessary part of any person overcoming any obstacle, whatever their struggle may be.

Morning Motivation

Posted on by Janina Glass

Waking up early is well known as a habit adopted by many successful people. Getting a jump on the day helps us avoid that feeling of being rushed and constantly behind. It’s also well established that people develop habits best when we have positive motivation, or better yet, a little instant gratification! Do you know what has ended up being the force behind my drive to get up early recently? Getting the chance to see a beautiful sunrise šŸ˜šŸ˜šŸ˜!

I’m slightly obsessed with clouds from an artistic standpoint, and I yearn to unlock the mystery of how to properly paint them.

Being bathed in a warm glow as pops of pink travel across the sky is a bit more real and powerful than checking boxes on a list or making an “unbroken chain” on an app. I do recommended using those mechanical methods when you need to, but find yourself a little joy whenever you are able. Learn to crave it!*

Today I was that crazy lady walking outside on the culdesac in her bathrobe (not a practice I recommend in most places) taking pictures of the sky, because life is BEAUTIFUL! (Can you tell yet that it put me in a good mood?) When I get eccentric I remind myself of my maternal grandmother, and then that only encourages me. šŸ˜„

I dragged my junior high kids out to join me (they are the reason I have to get up by 6:00, after all…) One rolled her eyes and went back in the house, the other got excited right along with me, and waved to the neighbors who were getting ready for their morning commute, calling out, “Look at the sky!”

“Oh! Hey there bud,” I whispered, “let’s not actually draw attention to ourselves!” (Sometimes that child is more Grandmamom than I am!) I ducked inside. For a minute. Then I couldn’t resist going back out one last time!

The glorious thing about the sky is that it’s available for any of us who seek it. Our view may be limited, but we can make the choice to either cast our eyes upward, or just continue about our day, perhaps complaining about the glare that makes it difficult to drive. Take a look around you, what do you have that you might have overlooked that can help pull you toward your goals? If you need help with some perspective here, schedule a Creative Consultation with me and we can talk about how to apply this concept to areas you may need motivation in your life.

*Developing a craving for a habit is a concept I learned from The Power of Habit, by Charles Duhigg. Purchasing a copy through my affiliate link helps support this blog https://amzn.to/33BY4mP Or create an Amazon list of books to check out at your local library, and save this there!

Have we met?

Posted on by Janina Glass

Have you ever had an “Ah-ha!” moment so big, you just wanted to share it with the whole world!? Maybe it’s a book you loved, or a truth you discovered, or a hack that someone else shared with you. I feel like I’ve recently had about two years worth of Ah-ha’s, and it’s time that I start to share them! I am thrilled to begin publishing ideas and inspiration in the form of artistic visuals and perhaps videos, but I can’t wait for every detail to be perfected in order for me to be ready to share. I’m ready to share now!


My name is Janina Glass, and I am the mother of some awesome kiddos who have come to my husband and I through birth as well as through the blessing of adoption. I am an artist, a writer, a performer, and a lifelong learner. I also have ADHD, which is kind of like always having shoelaces untied as I wander about my brain trying to remember where I set my toast. (If that made any sense to you at all, I deeply apologize. Welcome to the club!) It can be pretty comical, though often frustrating, depending how I choose to look at it that day.

I remember at about age 15 having the first of many ah-hah moments. I read a book that changed my outlook on life. It was <a href="http://<iframe style="width:120px;height:240px;" marginwidth="0" marginheight="0" scrolling="no" frameborder="0" src="//ws-na.amazon-adsystem.com/widgets/q?ServiceVersion=20070822&OneJS=1&Operation=GetAdHtml&MarketPlace=US&source=ac&ref=tf_til&ad_type=product_link&tracking_id=janinadawn-20&marketplace=amazon&region=US&placement=0312144776&asins=0312144776&linkId=0668e13be36a810821cb69e82ab900d7&show_border=false&link_opens_in_new_window=false&price_color=333333&title_color=0066c0&bg_color=ffffff"> How to Argue and Win Every Time,Ā by Gerry Spence. It’s been while, so I don’t remember all the details, though I do recall my motherĀ seeing it in my handsĀ and suddenly looking very concerned that her argumentative teenage daughter may be holding a lethal weapon! It really was a good thing; it opened up my mindĀ to the world of personal growth, andĀ I was hooked!

There were two profound truths in it for me:

  1. My definition of “winning” was all wrong. It wasn’t about proving my point, or the other party admitting I was right. Sometimes winning was choosing not to pursue the argument, sometimes it was deciding that the relationship was more valuable than the conflict. That can be winning too, to just walk away.
  2. We are the most persuasive when we are simply revealing the honest, vulnerable truth.

I believe the most valuable thing I can bring to you will be delivered from my own place of vulnerability, which will hopefully lead you, dear reader, to a place of greater strength. My goal is to keep each post readably brief and readily actionable. So for today I will simply leave you with those thoughts I gleaned from Gerry Spence, summarized in my own words:
Be honest in all you say, be brave as you reveal your true self, and be willing to let go of what does not ultimately matter most.

honest brave willing to let go infographic